Since the dawn of time there have been a handful of significant moments where man has said to woman, 'by 'eck, love... this is mega'. You may not have realised it when you woke this morning, but you are part of a generation who can be proud for the rest of human existence to say, yes, we witnessed a point in time on a par with; the parting of the Red Sea, the Declaration of Independence, the fall of the Berlin Wall and when Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards represented Great Britain in the 1988 Winter Olympics.
Yes, you are witness to the start of the biggest shake-up of the human race since Tutankhamun switched to crunchy peanut butter over smooth. Today sees the relaunch of WIREWAX, the world's first taggable video tool and the beginning of a global revolt against boring, dumb and non-interactive videos of cats and stuff.
Today we make a pledge; 'To all video everywhere, on every website, on every mobile, on every tellybox - watch your back, WIREWAX will take you and eat your face and make you betterer'.
Right now you can put your video through the WIREWAX magic machine and turn your band's promo into a powerful electronic press kit, your movie into a brain-mashing wonderpiece or Auntie Pam face-planting the paddling pool into a data-rich masterpiece.
We've had some of the world's megaminds and some small animals working round-the-clock for the last year to bring you the most important piece of technology to have ever entered your life. There is no reason why every video on the planet shouldn't be WIREWAXed and we've made it a gazillion times easier for that to happen. Now you can drop in your video file - or even paste a YouTube URL - into the hungry mouth of the WIREWAX beast. Your video will be analysed, faces found and automatically tracked. OK, yes, we know, it sounds like a giant pile of horse effluence, but no, it's totally for real. Then you just name those faces or bin them - it's up to you. You can even quickly add more tags to other people and objects in an instant. No need to wait, it all happens on the WIREWAX supercomputer so you don't have to get involved - it'll tell you when it's done.
But this is just the beginning. We've made WIREWAX into a platform for interactive video and we built a whole troff of new stuff, including apps that you can plonk on your tags - instantly link products to Amazon, people to Facebook, show off your flickr or Instagram photos or play YouTube or Vimeo videos right there in the video! Crazyballs!
You can still make your own pop-ups and we've made that tool 14.5 times easier and more intuitive. It also has a big vat of new features to make it even more like an massive injection of fun soup to the eyeballs.
WIREWAX now supports high definition videos up to 1080p! So you better tell Uncle Paul his new dentures better be super clean 'cuz he is gonna be pixel-sharp. You better tell him his new sweater is gonna be plastered all over facebook, Google+ and Twitter too as WIREWAX now has instant sharing, just roll-over the facebook logo on any video.
Want to know where all the tags of Tony's new pony are? Don't panic, just roll-over the timeline at the bottom of the video and voilà! Any tag throughout the video is just one click away! Nuts! Pony nuts!
Look, we could go on but we're worried the office walls can't take the excitement volcano that's just erupted. Just get yourself down to WIREWAX town and get involved, fast.